What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground
black dog is gay
what has 4 legs and 1 arm?- -a pitbull in a children's play area
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."
His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"
I’ve two dogs and two cats, and they are all Democrats...they want a handout everyday
what do you call dog magician labbrahcadaberh
What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?
Pant Suits
What do you call a bull dog and a shit tuz :a bullshit
What is a doll's favorite dog? A doll-matian.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl. I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
What's the difference between a chicken and a dog? I don't know.. I'm from China.
How do u turn a baby into a dog? Douse it in gasoline- light a match-*WOOF*
Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.
What did the dalmation dog say after he finished his meal?
That hit the spot?
Blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar. The Blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash. The bartender yells Sir Stop! What are you doing!? The Blind guy say, I'm just looking around.
A man walks into a zoo, the only animal was a dog.
It was a shitzu
I'm happy that i named my dog i know what you did. Its funny to see how much people get scared when i call him.
What happened when the dog played golf? He hit the ball into the ruff.
The IRS came to this mans house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money thats been coming in and out of his bank account. So the man though maybe I need to get a lawyer. So he and his lawyer get to the IRS's office and sit down and the agent said there has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account and we wanted to know if you knew anything about it. The man says yes I do, I'm a gambler. The agent says you gamble with that much money. He man says yes, I'll give you an example. Alright I bet you 5,000$ that I can bite my left eye. Agent says alright deal. The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Then the agents says that not fair. The man says I'll let you get your money back or even more, I bet you 7,500$ I can bite my right eye. He agents thinking I didn't see him come in with a guide dog or a stick so the agent says deal. The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. The agent then says that's not fair. The man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk and the agent says I got you, he's laughing and happy that he final beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face and the agent asked what's wrong with you and the lawyer replies the man bet me 100,000$ he could piss on your desk and you'd just love it.
