What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.
I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him for a drag.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
What’s a homo police dog?
A gay-9.
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares their dogs too much!
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
Why can't humans hear a dog whistle? -- Because dogs can't whistle.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
