Dog jokes
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
My mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"
The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.
I started crying when dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
Junkyard dogs may be mean, but the meanest dogs are the ones guarding concentration camps.
I had a dog with an eating disorder.
He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"
Lol, 1 week anniversary of me being on Worst Jokes Ever...
J0K35: *LETS START A JOKING KEGGAR*
A Joking keggar is where I get you drunk with some jokes, only on a special occasion.
Okay, y'all ready to get drunk with raging jokes? OK LETS GOOOOo
What do you call an LGBTQ+ disc jockey?
A DG (dee gay)
What does lava use when it can't walk properly?
A volCANEo
What do crackheads do when a black man got brutalized?
They start a HIGHot (say it like hi-ot, _riot_)
What is Satan's favorite DJ?
MarshHELLo
What do neck breakers use?
Snapchat
What did Twitter and Reddit eat with chocolate and marshmallows?
Instagraham crackers
Is this the last joke?
No
What is similar between a dog and my ex?
They are both commonly known as bitches
What number has a flu from a pig?
Nine flu (swine flu)
What did the loaf say when he was playing hide and seek?
BREADY OR NOT? HERE I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Who is the best anime girl?
Well, it's pretty obvious 02 is on the second rank
Why did Sally get caned?
Because old men hurriCANED.
That was all
OR WAS IT?
Yes, it was (Come back on Halloween for another Joking Keggar)
Times have been so tough lately, I have had to jerk off the dog just to feed the cat.
What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?
Redd Foxx.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
I was reading a book about an immortal dog yesterday...
It was impossible to put down.
Why is Sonic so fat? He eats too many chili dogs.
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
Squirrel: I got a joke.
Dog: What the hell is it?
Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.
I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.