I was reading a book about an immortal dog yesterday...
It was impossible to put down.
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog? Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
Why can’t an orphan have a dog it always runs away
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?
mom: there is so much of the dogs dirty ball marks. me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.
Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.