My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"
Dog Jokes
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
This is a classic.
Why did the Dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!
What did a cat say to the dog?
"I will kill and eat you hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehheehehhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehheeehehehehehehehe"
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
Why does Donald Trump smell like dog shit? Cuz he's a dawg!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Can you walk the dog for me?
Did you know that dogs started the street craps game?
What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?
A dog gets adopted.
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. ๐
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
An American goes on a British bus after being in war. He wants to sit down, so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down, but there is an old woman on the seat with her dog in the next one.
The man says, "Will you move your dog?"
The lady says, "Oh, you Americans are always so demanding," and she says to sit somewhere else. He goes through and finds no seats, so now he's at the back again. This time he throws the dog out the window and sits down.
The man in front says, "You Americans always do things wrong. First, you drive on the wrong side of the road, then hold you knife and fork wrong, and you threw the wrong bitch out the window!"
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
