Doesnt jokes
If the shoe doesn't fit, there's no evidence.
Why doesn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey Tea?
Because all proper tea is theft.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cabbage.
Cabbage who?
Cabbage doesn’t have a last name.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.
When you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you.
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
What did the orphan say to the barber?
I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.
What is red, orange, and yellow but doesn’t feel anything when it falls? Autumn leaves. 🍁
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
The last names after marriage!
The orphan can’t play soccer because he doesn’t know where home is, and his school is too dumb to learn.
What does Batman have that Superman doesn't?
The ability to visit his biological parents' grave.
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
Why couldn’t an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Because an orphan doesn’t have a family.
True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.
He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"
The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."
The person says: "What's a dilo?"
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”
“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!