Doesnt jokes
Why couldn’t an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Because an orphan doesn’t have a family.
When you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you.
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
What is red, orange, and yellow but doesn’t feel anything when it falls? Autumn leaves. 🍁
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
The orphan can’t play soccer because he doesn’t know where home is, and his school is too dumb to learn.
What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.
What does Batman have that Superman doesn't?
The ability to visit his biological parents' grave.
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
The last names after marriage!
If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?
Why is the elephant headed God the true God?
Because he doesn't exist!
Why doesn't bread like warm weather?
It gets toasty!
Why doesn’t Ganon search the web very often? Because there’s too many links.
Why doesn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey Tea?
Because all proper tea is theft.
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"