Doesnt jokes
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cabbage.
Cabbage who?
Cabbage doesn’t have a last name.
When you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you.
Do you know when an African doesn't feel hungry?
When he is dead.
What did the orphan say to the barber?
I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe. He holds air hostage.
Why couldn’t an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Because an orphan doesn’t have a family.
Why doesn't bread like warm weather?
It gets toasty!
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
If the shoe doesn't fit, there's no evidence.
What kind of bull doesn’t have horns?
A bullfrog!
Why doesn’t Ganon search the web very often? Because there’s too many links.
What came first: the chicken or the egg?
Doesn't matter, in the future, they'll come together.
Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.
"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"
Gina: Maryen? Karlya? Amber? Kristie? Why isn't it listed that she's here?
Zari: Your sister isn't listed in the meantime, just relax.
Gina: That still doesn't answer why she's not listed. I want her to see me!
Zari: Anyway, it will be time for your medications, we have the gixen and the Uiasends.
Gina: Do you know my sister's name?
Zari: Yes. Her name is Jalien.
Gina: Fine, I don't care!!!
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.
Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.
A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.
Why do nuns go around in pairs?
So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.
So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."