Doesnt jokes
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.
What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.
A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't have a home to go to.
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"
"The size doesn’t matter" - Ana from Frozen.
What kind of bull doesn’t have horns?
A bullfrog!
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A milk dud!
Why is the elephant headed God the true God?
Because he doesn't exist!
Why doesn't bread like warm weather?
It gets toasty!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it doesn't know where home base is.
Vince Li doesn't eat comedians. He says they taste funny.
Oliver Tree just died in a helicopter crash?
He doesn't have to worry about that because, according to him, life goes onionionionionionionionionionion.
Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.
"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"
Gina: Maryen? Karlya? Amber? Kristie? Why isn't it listed that she's here?
Zari: Your sister isn't listed in the meantime, just relax.
Gina: That still doesn't answer why she's not listed. I want her to see me!
Zari: Anyway, it will be time for your medications, we have the gixen and the Uiasends.
Gina: Do you know my sister's name?
Zari: Yes. Her name is Jalien.
Gina: Fine, I don't care!!!
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.
Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.
A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.