DOE jokes
What show does an orphan hate the most? Modern Family.
What game does a suicidal person who is very bad at word or guessing games love?
Hangman.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
Memes
Everybody does this
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..
What do the initials NOW stand for?
(A.) National Organization For Women
(B.) National Organization of Whores
(C.) All the above
Answer:
Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!