DOE jokes
Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
What does Biden do? He does you.
What does do something useful unlike you?
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
Why does Mario eat mushrooms?
Because he's a very fungi!
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?
How does a rapper greet someone on a cold day?
"Yo, is the temperature Ice Cube, or Vanilla Ice?"
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.
Sans: I am doing something.
Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?
Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.
Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.
Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.
Why does the emo kid skip class?
How many Indians does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and wait for the British to come and do it.
What does an orphan's family photo called?
A selfie.
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!
How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?
It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.
Fork pierces the flesh. Guided by hunger's demand, Savoury feast waits.
Tines dig deep within, Seeking the sustenance craved, A mealtime delight.
Belly grumbles loud, Yearning for nourishment's touch, Fork answers the call.
Food on the platter, Fork dances with anticipation, To satiate hunger's plea.
Digestion begins, Fork's journey now complete, Nourishing the soul.
Why does the fork go? To bring joy to empty hearts, Satiating needs.
In the stomach's depths, Fork finds purpose and solace, A culinary bond.
With each mealtime tale, The fork carves memories deep, In stomachs it rests.