What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
DOE Jokes
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy'kyira (😅): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???
Daina (😌): I know, right?
What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
Why does Yoda like to get molested? Because he likes the Force.
What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?
They are both hard.
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?
They both have torn rotators.
"Sticks and stones break my bones."
A crowbar does it so much quicker.
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
How do parents punish their blind kid? They move the bed.
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
What does my family and the Twin Towers have in common? We both played Jenga.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
Question: What does baseball have that orphans don't?
Answer: A home.
Why does Hitler hate golf?
He would end up in a bunker!
