DOE jokes
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
How many babies does it take to paint a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
Memes
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
Where does the Batman go to pee?
The Batroom.
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
What kind of shoes does a kidnapper wear?
White vans.
What does the Gay Garlic do when it gets hot? It takes it's CLOVES off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Like if you LOL every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.