DOE jokes

Why does the sky think it's so powerful?

Because it's always looking down on us.

Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?

One Tuesday afternoon, Little Jonny decides he wants extra homework, so he went to his teacher and said, "Hello, can I have extra homework this week?"

The teacher replied with, "Sure, be at my house Friday afternoon to cut my lawn, polish the counters, scrub the baseboards, scrub and paint the walls!"

And Johnny replied with, "That's not what I meant, but at least I'll get paid!"

The teacher said, "How about $200 each job?"

Johnny replied with, "OK."

Friday afternoon at her house, after Johnny does all the jobs, he asked for his payment and the teacher laughed and said, "You do know that Tuesday was April Fools' Day, right?"

What kind of truck does a Mexican drive?

F-Juan Fifty.

Sy’kyira (😌): I can’t wait for the therapist to come.

Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.

Sy’kyira (😅): SAME!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???

Daina (😌): I know, right?

So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.

Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"

What do you call an owl that does magic?

Hooodini.

What does a Chinese guy say to the love of his life?

"You're the ying to my yang!"

If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..

When I masturbate, things cum.

When an old man does, no one cums.

Jesus Christ does exist, he does, and he is the son of God... a God that doesn't exist XD

Does chocolate milk come from black cows?

What kind of mountain does everyone like?

Mountain Dew!!! Hahah.

How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?

How does a cow do math?

With a cow-culator!

Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?

Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.

Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.

When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?

What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?

His shoulder.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.