DOE jokes
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.
Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.
What does a noisy chilli do?
It gets jalapeno business.
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?
The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."
What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist?
The school bully does not hide behind their computer screen.
Memes
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
How many babies does it take to paint a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
Where does the Batman go to pee?
The Batroom.
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
What does the Gay Garlic do when it gets hot? It takes it's CLOVES off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Like if you LOL every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What kind of shoes does a kidnapper wear?
White vans.