DOE jokes
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
Why does a heterosexual man believe that if a heterosexual man gets his dick sucked by another heterosexual man it's called a "brojob"?
Because it's male bonding.
What do the initials NOW stand for?
(A.) National Organization For Women
(B.) National Organization of Whores
(C.) All the above
Answer:
Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.
What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
What does a blind man say when he passes the fish market?...."Hello ladies!"
Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.
Why does China have the biggest eyewear?
Because all their eyes are too small.
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.