Teacher: Describe a penguin
Student: Black, White, Beak
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, No family
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning.
-Splish Splash, i'm gonna slash...
🔪🗡️ 🩸
Son:mom can i borrow 50$?
Mom:What NO WAY what do you think money grows on trees?
SOn:mom what is money made of
Mom:paper
Son:where does paper come from?
Mom: . . .
Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb... A: Not Three. My damn basement is still dark...
Why does the queen move more then a king on the chess board
Because it looks like a kitchen floor
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.
Where does Spider-Man keep his pictures?
On a website.
What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and a feminist? A suicide actually does something when triggered.
how many EMO KIDS DOES IT to screw in a light bulb? none they all sit in the dark and cry
What does an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on
How does the moon cut his hair........Eclipse it!!!!!
I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I cant help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.
Does your shoe have a hole in it
No
Then how did you put your foot in it
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian’s hahahahaha
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re then what does having sex for free make you? Non-profit wh*reganisation
What does Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common? They both come on little white crackers
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
Does Eminem like MnM' s? Cause if he didn't, that would be like 'they're' not like liking 'there'.
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
