DOE jokes
What does a blind man say when he passes the fish market?...."Hello ladies!"
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic Association.
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
Why does China have the biggest eyewear?
Because all their eyes are too small.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
Memes
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
What game does a suicidal person who is very bad at word or guessing games love?
Hangman.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. They hire me to do it.
I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
What store does an orphan hate?
Family Tree.
What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.