DOE jokes
What kind of bride does the pedo icon like? A "maik order" bride. Why? The male part.
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?
Skelesore.
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
Memes
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
Why does Adolf hate golf?
He ended up in the bunker.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
What does WTC stand for?
"What Trade Centre?"
Why is jelly laughing a lot?
Because his friend goes nuts!
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
Q: What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?
A: At least one does something when it is triggered.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.