DOE jokes
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
What does NASA stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts!
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
Memes
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
Does a midget count as an orphan?
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
How does a skeleton call his friends?
On the tele-bone!
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.
What does lmao mean? Laughing miles.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
What does 6 tell 7?
"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"
What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.
When does a Pentagon have 4 sides? When it's intercepted by a plane.