DOE jokes
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.
How does a rapper apologize?
With a rap-ology!
What does a Foreigner say when he comes to America?
"You're as cold as I.C.E. You're willing to sacrifice brown lives..."
What does a relationship and suicide have in common?
I always fail on committing.
Where does Stephen Hawking get his computer fixed?
At PC World.
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow! What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.
First Man: My dog's got no nose.
Second Man: How does he smell?
First Man: Awful.
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
What does a bar fly and a necrophiliac have in common?
They both enjoy a cold one once in a while.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common?
Both have eight legs.
Daughter: Dad.
Dad: Yes honey?
Daughter: I'm lesbian.
Dad: Ok.
Daughter 2: Dad.
Dad: Yes?
Daughter 2: I'm lesbian too.
Dad: God, does anyone like boys around here?
Son: I do...
W-what does, I mean uh, what is, um-, wh-what’s the difference, no... I mean- I mean what do you call a, um... sorry guys, i-i can’t do this. 😥🥺
*runs away in tears*
What does lmao launching missiles at orphanage mean?
I don't know, but it's messed up.
How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
How fast does 173 move?
Breakneck speeds!