DOE jokes
How many children does Explain Bear have?
How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
What does Michael Jackson like?
Teabags.
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
Does a midget count as an orphan?
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Why does Adolf hate golf?
He ended up in the bunker.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
Why does the orphan have water with its cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk.
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
What kind of truck does a Mexican drive?
F-Juan Fifty.
What does a pencil and a plan have in common?
They were both in the Twin Towers.