DOE jokes
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
Where does a black Eskimo live?
In a Nigglu.
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.
Memes
What does the Fox say?
Fraka - kaka - kaka - kow.
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"
He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.
The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
What does NASA stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts!
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
What does Michael Joseph Jackson say to adults when he sees them?
Keep away from me-hee-hee.
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram.
What does Michael Jackson like?
Teabags.