DOE jokes
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
Memes
What does an emo kid say to his best friend?
"Let's hang out."
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
What does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"
A student says: "Bacon!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"
A student says: "Eggs!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"
A student says: "Homework!"
The whole class laughs.
When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.
Why does Sonic wear gloves? Because his hands are cold.
What does Sonic wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo.
How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram.
What do Shrek and onions have in common?
*LAYERS*
What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?
We have a case of Witzelsucht.
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
What does one emo kid say to the other?
"I like your cuts, G."