DOE jokes
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.
How does a penguin (however you spell it) build a house? Igloos it together!
Why does Wet have a big head? Because he got hit by a wetaroid!
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
What does Jesus do when he gets nervous? He bites his nails.
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
What does BLM stand for?
Black Lust Matters.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
Roses are red, violets are blue, feminist pussy stinks, and yours does too.
Where does a black Eskimo live?
In a Nigglu.
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.