DOE jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
What does Jesus do when he gets nervous? He bites his nails.
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...
What does BLM stand for?
Black Lust Matters.
Memes
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
What does the Fox say?
Fraka - kaka - kaka - kow.
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
Roses are red, violets are blue, feminist pussy stinks, and yours does too.
Where does a black Eskimo live?
In a Nigglu.
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?
How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"
He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.
The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."