Doctor jokes
Timmy goes to the doctor and says, "There's a crack in my butt, doctor." Timmy, there is a crack in everyone's butt, see?
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
Do no doctor start with A and A+?
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
You know your doctor is gay when he asks you to touch your toes, and then you feel a rub on your back and a tickle on your anus.
Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."
The doctor told me I was so retarded, I was required to ride two wheelchairs.
Old man goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."
The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
I told my doctor I was experiencing some back pain. He told me to smoke some weed because I had chronic back pain.
Yo mama so fat that she should be worried for her health and go see a doctor.
My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, "OK, you're ugly too."
What did the dinosaur eat when the dentist fixed his tooth?
The dentist!
Where do sick boats go? The dock!
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.