Distance jokes
Why'd the snake cross the road? It was in the chicken's butt.
Your forehead and hairline are like friends; they go way back.
Why can’t Michael Jackson go more than 500 feet into a school?
Because he’s dead.
"How is your long distance relationship going?" -- "So far, so good."
What's the Fastest 20000 Meter Dash a Human Can Run?
Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!
Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!
Your hairline goes so far back, even the Proclaimers wouldn't walk there.
Your forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.
Why did my foot cross the road?
Because your ass was on the other side.
Yo mama so fat, she likes long, romantic walks to the refrigerator.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
Your hairline is so far back that when I wrote it on a chalkboard, it did not erase.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.
Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.