Distance

Distance Jokes

Forehead

Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"

Mom

Why did your mom cross the road?

You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.

Hairline

Your eyebrows and hairline are so far apart that when Dora the Explorer went and found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows, the map couldn't even tell her.

Dad

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good. He died during 9/11.

Difference

What's the difference between "ooh" and "aah"?

About 3 inches.

P.S. Please comment and like!

Mama

Yo mama so dumb, when she looked at the light, she said, "Why is the sun so close to me?"

Line

Daveon is so straight, he thinks a straight line is the shortest distance between two points and nothing else.

Brother

Raju: How about you, Sunil?

Do you know?

Sanju: Sunil is my long distance

is a brother.

Raju: Long brother?

Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.

Mama

Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.

Hairline

I had to take the underground just to get from your forehead to your hairline, they're so far apart!!!

COVID-19

The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

Aunt

Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!

Mama

Yo mama so far that when she walks outside at 8 a.m., it becomes midnight all over again.

Peanut Butter

Friend: What are you doing?

Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.

Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"

Walk

I did a walk walk and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home.