Distance jokes
I called my dog 5 miles.
Today, I fawn over my miles.
Your hairline goes so far back, even the Proclaimers wouldn't walk there.
Daveon is so straight, he thinks a straight line is the shortest distance between two points and nothing else.
Raju: How about you, Sunil?
Do you know?
Sanju: Sunil is my long distance
is a brother.
Raju: Long brother?
Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.
I had to take the underground just to get from your forehead to your hairline, they're so far apart!!!
He’s so short no one can see you very close by.
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.
Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.
We were going to McDonald's, but we ran into your hairline!
Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"
Your eyebrows and hairline are so far apart that when Dora the Explorer went and found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows, the map couldn't even tell her.
Your hairline is so close to Earth, it's 100 million lightyears away!
Yo mama so dumb, when she looked at the light, she said, "Why is the sun so close to me?"
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good. He died during 9/11.
What's the difference between "ooh" and "aah"?
About 3 inches.
P.S. Please comment and like!
What's the Fastest 20000 Meter Dash a Human Can Run?
Your hairline is so far back that it would be a 70 mile trip to the back.
Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!
Yo mama so far that when she walks outside at 8 a.m., it becomes midnight all over again.
Friend: What are you doing?
Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.
Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"