Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?
They both don’t work.
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
Daveon is so straight, he thinks a straight line is the shortest distance between two points and nothing else.
Raju: How about you, Sunil?
Do you know?
Sanju: Sunil is my long distance
is a brother.
Raju: Long brother?
Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.
Yo mama so fat you can see her from 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 galaxies away!
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
Yo mama so fat, she likes long, romantic walks to the refrigerator.
We were going to McDonald's, but we ran into your hairline!
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
I had to take the underground just to get from your forehead to your hairline, they're so far apart!!!
Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.
Your mom is so fat the space shuttle can see her from 10,000 miles away.
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
He’s so short no one can see you very close by.
