Distance jokes
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
Yo mama so fat that she's social distancing from herself.
Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!
What can run, be an eyesore, and practice social distancing?
Your hairline.
Memes
Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.
Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.
You're so fat that when you went outside, you broke the 2-meter rule for COVID.
Why can’t Michael Jackson go more than 500 feet into a school?
Because he’s dead.
Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.
Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
"Namaste, 6 feet away, or I'll blow you away with this AK!"
Why can't Michael Jackson come within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead. 😁
🌍: You're so hot!
🌎: How are you single?
☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!
Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!
Your hairline is in a different area code.
You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.