Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
🌍: You're so hot!
🌎: How are you single?
☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!
"Namaste, 6 feet away, or I'll blow you away with this AK!"
Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!
You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.
Your hairline is in a different area code.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
"Mine is 3 inches."
"That's not very lo..."
"From the ground."
Why can't Michael Jackson come within 500 meters of a school. Because he's dead. 😁
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
Yo mama so fat that she needs her belly button to beat her home by 15 min.
Yo mama so far, she makes the Statue of Freedom look like a 6-inch action figure.
Your hairline is so far back that it would be a 70 mile trip to the back.
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
Yo mama so fat you can see her from 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 galaxies away!
