New Dish Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

What is the favorite dish in Africa? The empty one.

What do you call a fake noodle?

An im-pasta.

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?

You can roast chicken.

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."

The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"

"Nein," said the old man.

What do you call a fake noodle? Impasta.

It's Caesar salad.

Here's a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions-

My buddies think I'm on the lake.

Boss thinks I've been sick for days.

And mama's probably on her way

'Cause I ain't picked up the phone.

I've been a million places,

But they're all up in my head.

Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.

Took a trip down memory lane.

Checked into hotel heartbreak.

Passed rock bottom on the way

Without leaving my living room.

I've been a million places

But they're all up in my head.

Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone.

Yeah

I've been gone.

All the clothes are on the floor

All the mail's by the door

All the whiskey bottles in my bed.

All the dishes in the sink

All the gas is in the tank

All the neighbors probably think I'm dead.

I've been gone, I've been gone

I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long.

All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong

Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane

Sadder than a country song.

Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way

Ever since you moved on, I've been gone (ooh, ooh)

I've been gone (ooh, ooh)

Gone

Curry.

Why did Draven eat curry?

I don't know, ask him.

Dravenッ

What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!

Did you hear about the new Chinese food?

It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!

How many people does it take to wash the dishes?

Only Juan.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

A cow with no front legs walking around?

Beef stroganoff.

So a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats, and the dealer tells him, "Dude, the rain will ruin the seats. Get it under something if it starts raining, and worst-case scenario, put Vaseline all over the seats to make it waterproof." So he goes to his girlfriend's house that night for dinner, and before he goes inside, she says, "Listen, this is your first time meeting my parents. We have a rule: the first one to speak has to do the dishes." So he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes, over three months' worth, because no one has spoken, and the stench is awful.

During dinner, he concocted a plan to get someone to speak, so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. Not a peep. Eventually, he grabs his girlfriend, bends her over, and starts going to town. Still nothing. The parents are outraged but not speaking because they don't want to do the dishes. After about a minute of this, he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. Now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. At that moment, it starts to rain. He remembers his motorcycle is out in the rain, and he grabs the Vaseline out of his pack pocket, and the dad goes, "FINE! I'LL DO THE DISHES!"

Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)

I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).

I gathered some "slapies."

The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!

I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!

I feed it to them!

They overreacted!

Please leave a comment.

Bye!