Disease jokes
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
What does a kid with cancer and dark humor have in common? They never get old.
Coronavirus walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Gimme a shot of whiskey, will ya?"
The bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve viruses here."
Corona replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
imagine
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.
Could it be ligma?
Ligma balls, daddy!
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Oh wait, he didn't.
What's a cancer patient's favorite food?
Kentucky Fried Chemotherapy
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?
What's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS?
The guy that gave it to him.
My aunt’s star sign is Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten alive by a giant freaking crab!
What’s the difference between cancer and my brother?
My brother didn’t beat cancer.
Roses are red, violets are blue, by the way, I have the flu!
Why did the cow cross the road? Because the chicken had corona.
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.