Disease jokes
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
How did the other 18 COVIDs go unnoticed?
Have you ever heard about the new virus in China? It's called Hupun.
Hupun DEEZ NUTS!
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
Memes
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
I have it.
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Ads for meds be like: Chloroform, it's Chloroform, helps with itchy eyes. Side affects may include Acute Flaccid Myelitis (AFM), AIDS (HIV/AIDS), Alphaviruses, Alzheimer's Disease, Alzheimer's Diseases (Spanish), Arboviral Encephalitis, Arthritis, Babesiois, Cancer, Unintentional injuries, Chronic lower respiratory disease, Stroke and cerebrovascular diseases, Alzheimer's disease, Diabetes, Influenza and pneumonia.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers.”
She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
What did the blind deaf orphan child get for Christmas?
cancer.
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!