Disease jokes
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
I have it.
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.
Memes
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Ads for meds be like: Chloroform, it's Chloroform, helps with itchy eyes. Side affects may include Acute Flaccid Myelitis (AFM), AIDS (HIV/AIDS), Alphaviruses, Alzheimer's Disease, Alzheimer's Diseases (Spanish), Arboviral Encephalitis, Arthritis, Babesiois, Cancer, Unintentional injuries, Chronic lower respiratory disease, Stroke and cerebrovascular diseases, Alzheimer's disease, Diabetes, Influenza and pneumonia.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers.”
She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
What did the blind deaf orphan child get for Christmas?
cancer.
Chinese always proud of their principle in business.
The fact is only products they copy that go international, except for COVID.
My mom told me to be positive...
I was heading to an HIV test.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
A few years ago I had a brush with cancer...
All of the bristles fell out!
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?