Disease jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
How did the tree get sick?
It got tinsel-itis.
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."
My brother said, "You want a cookie?"
Memes
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My father didn’t beat cancer.
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
My aunt’s star sign is Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten alive by a giant freaking crab!
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
Man, cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already on stage 4.
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
Have you ever heard about the new virus in China? It's called Hupun.
Hupun DEEZ NUTS!
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
I have it.
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.