Disease

Disease jokes

Mosquito

What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?

They both got a 10% survival rate...

Diabetes

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."

My brother said, "You want a cookie?"

Cancer

What's the difference between me and cancer?

My father didn’t beat cancer.

Seizure

What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?

Little Seizures.

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  • Crab

    My aunt’s star sign is Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten alive by a giant freaking crab!

    Cancer

    What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?

    Answer: cancer.

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  • Hawking

    Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.

    And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.

    Anorexia

    I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!

    Nut

    Have you ever heard about the new virus in China? It's called Hupun.

    Hupun DEEZ NUTS!

    Taste

    When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.

    Shake

    How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?

    Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.

    Girl

    Hey girl, are you osteoporosis, because you're giving me a "bone" condition.

    Momma

    Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!