Disease jokes
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.
Titanic: And I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!
What do Africans eat for breakfast?
E-bola Cornflakes.
What was I saying again?
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Roger.
(Roger who?)
Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!
What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?
A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.
What's bald and can't grow no hair?
A kid with cancer.
I told my mother I'm a sexy cunt. She said, "No, you got cancer, you twat."
Read this and you're gay.
Depression has been entered into your body.
My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.
That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Note to all.
My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!
Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Mimi. Mimi who? Mimi’s got cancer.
Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?
They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
A player in Baldi's Basics says, "Why are you bald?"
Baldi responds, "Well, I have cancer."
The player says, "Oh, good for you!"
What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.
If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."
Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.
Hands down, syndromes are bad.