My mother said I'm sexy. I said no, I have cancer.
Carys’s mum has chemo.
What’s the world’s most diseased country?
GerMany.
Me: Imagine not having hair.
Kids: On chemo.
Bitch the fuck.
Why couldn't the girl brush her hair?
..... She had cancer.... ;)
Two cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
What it's a lot Syphilis
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
"Cancer gives you weed. It’s not healthy."
What do you say to your partner with diabetes?
Hey, sugar!
Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!
So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"
The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"
Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!
So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"
So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"
Cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer.
So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.
A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”!
Cancer cancer cancer cancer. (joke speaks for itself)
Friend: I got bit.
Other friend: By what?
Friend: A dog.
Other friend: (Runs away and the next day you know everyone is wearing a mask and the friend gets expelled because of rabies.)
What did Stephen Hawking love that couldn't move?
Himself, ps particularly his whole body. I was gonna say his legs, but then I remembered he was fully paralysed and was like shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.
