Disease jokes

Knock knock. Who’s there? Mimi. Mimi who? Mimi’s got cancer.

Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?

They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?

Battery acid.

Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.

Suck tiny dick, now you have STD's.

What is a type of cancer that:

Affects you. Is caused by a device. Is annoying. People won't stop talking about it?

Easy, the answer is Fortnite.

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.

It never gets old.

Hands down, syndromes are bad.

I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."

Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?

Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!

What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.

I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.

Still waiting on an answer.

Yo mama so stupid, she made Patrick run away because he thought it was contagious! 🤣

What is Stephen Hawking's best side?

The left.

What did COVID say to the American?

Nothing, it just took its breath away...

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

I was bullying Stephen Hawking. I told him, "Why not stand up for yourself?"

That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.

If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.

If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.