Disease jokes

Knock, knock.

(Who’s there?)

Roger.

(Roger who?)

Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!

What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?

A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.

On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.

Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:

"Do you know what arthritis is?"

The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:

"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."

The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.

A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:

"How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."

What's bald and can't grow no hair?

A kid with cancer.

I told my mother I'm a sexy cunt. She said, "No, you got cancer, you twat."

Read this and you're gay.

Depression has been entered into your body.

My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.

That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Note to all.

My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!

If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."

Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.

Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.

A player in Baldi's Basics says, "Why are you bald?"

Baldi responds, "Well, I have cancer."

The player says, "Oh, good for you!"

What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?

A Royale with cancer.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?

Battery acid.

Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?

They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Mimi. Mimi who? Mimi’s got cancer.

What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.

Suck tiny dick, now you have STD's.

Hands down, syndromes are bad.

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.

It never gets old.

What is a type of cancer that:

Affects you. Is caused by a device. Is annoying. People won't stop talking about it?

Easy, the answer is Fortnite.