Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.
Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?
Oh, it's still cancer.
At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "'Cause she clearly has no taste." She responded.
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed receiving medical treatment soon after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit Bob and told him this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb peaking mountains, and cross low valleys."
Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.
I was going to go hunting but then I realized, schools are closed due to covid.
For all the people with Covid-19, I just want to say... Stay positive.
There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: "Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have! You don't have it because you are poor!" The poor child answers: "You're right, it's very nice, but I have one thing that you don't have!" The rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline, and all the other games that can be done outdoors and says to the poor child: "Look at that beautiful swimming pool I have! It is very big; you don't have it because you are poor!" And the poor child says: "Beautiful, it is really beautiful! But one thing that you don't have." So the rich child feels bad. He says: "Wait, but I'm rich! How is it possible? I have everything I want because I'm rich. Why do you have something that I don't have?" And the poor child says: "I have cancer!"
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
What's the best haircut?
Chemotherapy.
My ex is like aids!!!! I can't get rid of him
I got kicked out of a hospital once. I told all the COVID patients to stay positive.
I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.
I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the COVID-19 patients to stay positive.
A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"
Suicide: Turning ones biology into complex organic chemistry.
Have you heard about the new russian std? Rottsmikokov
NORTH KOREA HAS ITS OWN NORTH KORONAVIRUS. IT STARTED THERE
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common
They never get old
2019 Senior Prank- Hey fellas lets black out the school haha were so sneaky oh yes
2020 Senior Prank- Hey guys I’m a tech whiz let’s spread a rumor on the internet saying a disease called the corona virus exists! Haha it’s be so funny and good even the whole world might fall for it
Everyone in December 2020- looks at tech whiz “...you son of a (censored)!!!” Tech whiz- “you guys are the (censored)s I mean you fell for it for a whole year
Are you corona? Cuz it’s hard to breathe around you ;)
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down it the waiting room. Whem it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, 'Well I have good news and bad news.' The woman says, 'I'll hear the good news first please.' The doctor replies 'The good news is we're naming a disease after you!'
