Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.
Son (in a happy tone): I know.
Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?
Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
Disease Jokes
What do you call two Hispanics with Parkinson's disease?
Maracas.
What do you call a son of Gilgamesh that hates flashy lights? The epileptic of Gilgamesh.
You have a problem with jokes about dementia? That's funny, I don't remember asking.
You're so fat that you cause your heart to have panic attacks.
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.
How do sick Mexicans say hello?
"Ebola."
What’s positive in Africa?
HIV/AIDS.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
I have more respect for cancer than depression, because cancer has the balls to kill me himself.
What's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS?
The guy that gave it to him.
What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
Dark humor is like cancer; it's funnier when kids get it.
Doctor asks his patient, "What is your zodiac sign?"
Patient replies, "Cancer." Doctor says, "What a coincidence!"
You're so bad at games, bro, they gave you AIDS before losing! 😹
