Disease jokes
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
Why is there no medication in Africa?
Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
What's black and eats Kitty?
Serval cancer.
My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.
What do you call a javelin thrower with Parkinson’s?
Shakespeare.
If we send more mosquitoes to Africa, we could save more mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.