Disability jokes
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
Which is more disabling, is it autism or Down syndrome?
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.
What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
Why are autistic kids a stupid, brainless, special freak?
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
Why do disabled people not like comedians?
Because they do stand up.
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
When Helen Keller tries singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl,
Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa.
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen.
I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf.
So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.
I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.