Disability jokes
What do you call Helen Keller after she killed 10 people?
Helen Killer.
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
How did Helen Keller dance? Very Bad.
How did Helen Keller draw? With her hand.
An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.
The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.
The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.
I never get off on the wrong foot.
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.
Numb Butt Wheelchair Club: No Feeling, No Problem!
Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?
Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"
Ben 10 and a disabled person are the same, but no aliens for the disabled person.
What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What are the similarities between a blind person and an orphan?
Neither can see their parents.
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see or hear their parents.
Yo mama's so ugly, even the kid in the wheelchair ran.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.
He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."