I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
Disability Jokes
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"
What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!
Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?
Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?
How do you punish a blind guy?
You leave a plunger in the toilet.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
What's a Parkinson's victim's least favorite song?
Taylor Swift - "Shake it Off".
I ran over three disabled kids.
"Cripple kill."
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
