Dinner jokes
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?
What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home? Was your dinner night and dinner night?
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
What is the difference between a human and a tree and a house? Is for dinner today after school today after I have school 🏫 I have for kids dinner 🍴 was that I had dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night is what time it when we went and get the dog 🐶 night and dinner 🍴 night I love 💕 it is the one ☝️ I did not have time today.
Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.
What did the orphan say when his mum asked, "What do you want for dinner?"
He replied, " "
What is the difference between snow boots on Earth Day, today, after dinner, and walking home?
Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "Mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potatoes." *SMACK*! Mother slapped Mark. She then asked Suzie, "What would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatoes," said Suzie. *SMAACK*! She slapped Suzie. "Okay, Johnny, what would you like to eat?" "Well.... I sure as hell don't want no fucking potatoes."
What is Armin Meiwes' ideal date? Dinner.
How do you know if a rapper is hungry?
They start dropping BEATS at the dinner table.
What did the kids say hi to? A slide.
What do you call an orphan at the dinner table?
Family dinner!
What is the best time to eat dinner?
When you're hungry.
It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or No," she replied.
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! (aka dinner)
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"