Dinner jokes
I got my math test back today. I am Asian and raised in an Asian household, so I was worried about what I was going to get.
I got a 95%.
I'm having warm dinner tonight!
P.S. True story, lol.
It was 5:00 PM and I asked my sibling: "Can I have something to eat?"
He replied: "No, not until you tell me the alphabet."
So I said: "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, U, V, W, X, Y, Z."
Then my sibling asked me: "Where's the T?"
I replied: "It's in the microwave, you just need to dish it up."
All the children ate at the Indian restaurant, except for Simon, because he was eaten by the restaurant owner.
What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.
I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"
What is the best time to eat dinner?
When you're hungry.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?
Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽
What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?
Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
Why did the short person become a chef?
Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!
How do you know if a rapper is hungry?
They start dropping BEATS at the dinner table.
What happens when you eat a cat?
I love to eat cats for dinner!