Dinner jokes
What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.
I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"
What is the best time to eat dinner?
When you're hungry.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?
Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽
What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?
Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
Why did the short person become a chef?
Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!
How do you know if a rapper is hungry?
They start dropping BEATS at the dinner table.
What happens when you eat a cat?
I love to eat cats for dinner!
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.