Dinner

Dinner Jokes

Priest

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

Sister

My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"

Obama

What is a government mandate?

When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.

Kid

What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?

"Where are the kids?"

Seafood

What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?

I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!

Family

What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?

"Will there be seconds?"

Blowjob

Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?

Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽

Donald Trump

What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?

Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!

COVID-19

How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?

She lost her taste.

Chef

Why did the short person become a chef?

Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!

Rapper

How do you know if a rapper is hungry?

They start dropping BEATS at the dinner table.

Cat

What happens when you eat a cat?

I love to eat cats for dinner!

Babysitting

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

Chicken

My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.

"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."

Mom

It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.

Potato

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."