Difference jokes

They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0

What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.

- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

- How did the gay person die? Homicide.

- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.

My thighs have a different texture pack than the rest of me.

What’s the difference between white people and Black people?

One runs from the police, one runs for the police.

What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut?

Babies are healthier.

What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby?

I don't have a girlfriend.

What is the difference between Batman and a black man?

Batman can go out at night without Robin.

What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?

Some people don’t pick it.

What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.

What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?

One of them is really loud when you iron it.

What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?

A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.

What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?

The windows we look through.

What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?

Elton John is still standing.

What is the difference between a prostitute and a wife?

A prostitute will fulfill your needs with your money; a wife will fulfill her needs with your money.

Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.

She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"

What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?

One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.

What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?

About 5000 calories.

What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?

One of them won’t clean the oven.