Difference jokes
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!
What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
What is the difference between a tree and walking home from a wheelchair?
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?
A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.
What's the difference between you and an idiot? Not very much if you reword and post the same joke over and over.
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
What's the difference between an abortion and a baby girl in China? Nothing, they both die.
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
What's the difference between Hitler and a feminist?
At least Hitler actually did something.
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.