Difference jokes

What's the difference between Nemo and my dad?

Nemo was eventually found.

What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?

Very little.

What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?

One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.

What's the difference between a child and a book?

One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.

What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?

There is none, they both go up in flames.

What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and what OJ Simpson did? OJ Simpson's victims actually suffered and I actually feel bad for them (the boyfriend at least).

What’s the difference between kids and drugs?

I don’t hide drugs in my basement.

What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.

What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?

A margarita hits the spot every time.

What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?

Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."

A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."

What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?

"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)

What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?

Elton John is still standing.

How is slavery different from Pokémon?

The types you can have.

What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.

What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.

What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist?

The school bully does not hide behind their computer screen.

what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?

I don't bowl.

What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?

You can't run over a yellow line.