Difference

Difference Jokes

Joe Biden

What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?

The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.

Knife

What is the difference between me and a knife?

The knife has a point.

Self Harm

What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.

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  • Tuna

    What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.

    (The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.

    Job

    What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?

    Your job still sucks.

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  • Morbid humor

    What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

    Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

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  • Johnny Depp

    What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?

    Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.

    Refrigerator

    You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."

    Sloth

    What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.

    Jesus

    What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?

    One had the last supper.

    Skeleton

    What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.

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  • Baby

    What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.

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  • Emo

    - The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

    - How did the gay person die? Homicide.

    - Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

    - When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

    - I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

    - I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

    - How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

    Little boy

    What's the difference between an air blower and Little Boy?

    When the air blower blew, it did not wipe out Hiroshima.

    Man

    There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."

    Cop

    What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?

    When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

    Water

    They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0

    What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.

    What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.

    Orphan

    What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.