Difference jokes
What's the difference between Kelly Clarkson and a Florida real estate agent?
A Florida real estate agent screws over seniors, Kelly Clarkson screws little children.
My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?
A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.
What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?
Memes
What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.
What do K-mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have boys' pants half off.
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Q. What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. The phrase "jump rope" means different things.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck dick.
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
What's the difference between my dad and my stepdad?
My stepdad beat my ass before he left.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan has all their teeth intact.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.
What’s the difference between a child and a suicider?
One stays quiet forever...
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.