Difference jokes

What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?

One is beautiful.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

A rooster clucks defiance!

What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?

The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.

What is the difference between chocolate and sex?

I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste!

What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?

An emo slits.

Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."

What's the difference to a kamikaze and bin Ladin?

Bin Ladin survived when he went into a building. I have aids.

What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.

What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?

The pizza guy shows up when you call him.

If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.

If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.

What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?

Erotic is usually a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.

What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?

One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

What’s the difference between toilet paper and a curtain?

So, it was you....

What's the difference between Christian theocrats and Islamic fundamentalists?

Presentation.

Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?

A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.

What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?

Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!

What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?

Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.

What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?

One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.