Difference jokes
What's the difference between Mars and Africa? Mars has water.
My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.
I love jokes!
What’s the difference between a living and dead person? I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
What's the difference between a human and a tree?
A human can chop down a tree.
A tree can't chop down a human.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.
What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
Apples look better hanging on a tree.
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?
One has a home to run to.
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are actually picked.
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?
You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.
What did Michael say to the boy in his room at sleepovers?
"You are not alone."
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't toot when you put meat in it.
What's the difference between cars and grass?
They both have wheels, except for the grass.
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.