Difference jokes
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
The difference between George Floyd and Kobe Bryant is Kobe got air.
What's the difference between Canada and the USA?
In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.
In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.
There’s a noticeable difference between using polish to remove grease and using Polish to remove Greece.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.
What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.
It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!
What's the difference between Christian theocrats and Islamic fundamentalists?
Presentation.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What is the difference between interstate and intercourse?
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
What's the difference between you and a calendar?
Calendars got dates.
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
What’s the difference between rap lovers and the Gigachad?
Rap lovers get more pussy.