Difference jokes
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
What's the difference between Jane Doe and a field?
A field gets harvested in the fall, while Jane Doe gets plowed.
What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?
Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.
Lete know in the comments
What's the difference between a criminal and an orphan?
One is wanted and one's not.
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
What's the difference between a suicide bomber and your mom?
A suicide bomber doesn't abort their mission like your mom did when she had you.
What's the difference between a rapist's mouth and a sewer?
Nothing, they both spout shit.
Your forehead is so big that it has five different time zones!
What is the difference between a human and a magic dog? What is a human.
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
What's the difference between a cop and bacon?
Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.
What is the difference between the snow ❄️ and sun 🌞? Snow is slippery, and the other kind 🧒 of weather is not slippery.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
What's the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
You can only unload one of them with a pitch fork.
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.