Difference jokes
What's the difference between me and my best friends?
At least one of us has a house.
What's the difference between Black and White people?
Blacks don't need N-Word Passes.
What's the difference between a computer and a crumpled person? A computer runs.
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
One's a fucking tree.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
What's the difference between an aborted fetus and an upside-down bar stool?
An upside-down bar stool can only pleasure 4 men.
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.
Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
What's the difference between you and an idiot? Not very much if you reword and post the same joke over and over.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
Why do guys hold their ball sack when they run?
Because they don't have titties.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
What's the difference between a happy family and a car guy? Only one has a family.