What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.
What is the difference between a refrigerator and a baby, The refigerator dosent cry when i put my meat in it
What's the difference between my phone and my sister?
I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer? Cancer doesn't leave you.
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was "remarkable."
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
The difference between women and beer is that beer makes you happy for nothing, why women make you angry for nothing.
What’s the difference between a living and dead person?
I don’t know, I just bury the coffin.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pig?
There isn't one; they are both the same thing.
What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby?
I don't have a girlfriend.
What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
People are like potatoes.
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
