Difference jokes
What's the difference between a pope/preacher and acne?
Acne comes on your face when you're 13.
What's the difference between my dad and a hooker?
Hookers come back.
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
What's the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they're both too short.
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?
The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?
Only one of them is scared.
What's the difference between a mother and a pigeon?
One doesn't eat their husband out.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says, "Okay, I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts." So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says, "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says, "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop.
The doctor says, "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me?" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.