Die jokes
Why are Demons dying from Priestwater? The soul from a Priest is completely different.
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
Twin monks who ring the church bells died.
Now they are dead ringers. :)
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
Did yall know this?
Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."
Are you with Alex?
Fucking retarded. Go dig a home die, people!
Why did Queen Elizabeth the II die?
Because she ran out of immortali-tea.
Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?
I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.
One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.
I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.
Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.
Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died...
His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.
My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.