Die jokes
One day, a chicken went to the nail store. He asked the "owner" where the shampoo was. "BRO IM NOT THE FRIKKIN MANAGER!" the guy said. So the duck walked away.
The next day he went back to the store and asked a pregnant lady why she was so fat. The lady punched him and ran away. The duck cried. Then he went to the lady's husband and said that he must be tired of being married since she punches people every day. The man punched him. The duck assumed they were the punching couple. The duck walked, and then fell in a ditch and stayed there to die. The pregnant lady and her husband were very pleased >:) muhahahahahahaha
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
Your mom so ugly that Paul Walker died.
Hahahahahahah I'm dying.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost WiFi connection.
Memes
The person I hate: Omg, my mom and dad just died.
Me: Omg, I am so sorry, don't worry.
The person I hate: I have a boyfriend.
Me: Well, I have a mom and dad.
The person I hate: Rood.
Me: Shut up.
What is a box called when a cough dies in it?
A coffin.
Why did the dick suck my ass? They died.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he's slightly ginger.
I was in the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, Pionel Pessi, the debut man, came to my rescueπ¨βπ. He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles; "big games," he replied. Thanks for saving my life, my idol.
He's dead.
What did the beachgoers in North Carolina say when there was a tsunami?
Nothing, they died.
You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a power cut.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to get the free cracked version of Windows 10.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.
Why did he die so soon? Oh, I know, he forgot to plug in his charger!
Stephen Hawking died because he turned off his VPN.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.