Die jokes

What do you call a blind person driving a car?

Died.

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?

(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?

No?

Well neither did she.

Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.

My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.

Hahahahahahhah my nan died :)

You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?

'Cause then they know they won't die alone.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Of a bad internet connection.

Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?

He was a brave sucker.

Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.

Whoever says a joke "is not a joke" should go commit bye die.

I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀

Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?

Bro, if I die, I want to die blown up by 34 pounds of C4 at a furry convention.

My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."

Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!