Die jokes

Why didn't the child go to school?

Because he died of a heroin overdose.

I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀

Bro, if I die, I want to die blown up by 34 pounds of C4 at a furry convention.

My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."

I love dccfffghyyhh.

You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?

'Cause then they know they won't die alone.

I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.

I got jealous when my phone died.

What do you call a blind person driving a car?

Died.

I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.

I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.

Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.

Whoever says a joke "is not a joke" should go commit bye die.

Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?

Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?

They're the same thing.

Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.

Why did the Twin Towers die? Because they had too many plane pizzas.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Of a bad internet connection.

(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?

No?

Well neither did she.

My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.