Die jokes
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.
All orphans deserve to die if they don't buy KFC.
Q: Mummy, how do most stars die?
A: From an overdose.
Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.
The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.
The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."
Memes
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓
We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
Why did Technoblade die?
'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.
Why did the joke die?
Because it's a meme!
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.
If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.
An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.