Die jokes
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
A kid had school today.
He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)
Yo mama so hairy, when the baby came out, the baby died because of carpet burning!
Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something. SOMEONE will laugh. Say: "This word isn't gonna be funny until I tell you, your probably not going to laugh." *your friend* "what's the word?" *you* "finger" *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not everyone laughs, so don't feel bad if they don't. Also, don't be surprised if you get put in jail for murder, because you're going to kill someone with this.
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
Did you know pigeons die after sex? At least when I fucked it.
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
Why did the mailman die?
'Cause everyone dies.
What do Batman and orphans have in common?
Their parents died.
I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.
Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.