Die jokes
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh, you wanna die? I wanna die too!
Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.
The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.
The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓
Memes
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
Why did Technoblade die?
'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He pirated GTA VI Hindi No Virus 2022.
Hey I have a joke for you.
My life hahah. I wanna die.