Die

Die jokes

Character

  • I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.

    I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.

    Wine

  • Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.

    Lie

  • A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”

    “Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.

    “Let me start,” says the son.

    “Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.

    “I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.

    “Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.

    “Your right!” He replies.

    “I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”

    “Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.

    “The lie is the second on,” says the dad.

  • 1
  • Suicide

  • So, I’m not sure if it’s a joke, but I thought it was funny. So imagine you try to die by shooting yourself, but you sneeze and pull the trigger... I don't know about you, but I would’ve been mad. Because wtf, I wasn’t readyyyy!

  • 5
  • Suicide

  • Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."

    Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"

    Guy: "Yup"

    Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"

    Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"

    Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.

    He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.

    We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)

  • 9
  • Cancer

  • 1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.

    2: I'm dying, finally.

    3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.

    On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/

  • 9
  • Time

  • Time for a random Terraria joke.

    Q: Why did the guide die at his house?

    A: The player dropped his doll in the lava.

    (WALL OF FLESH HAS AWOKEN) :| Oh crap!

    Dad

  • One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.