Die jokes
What will die immediately instead of having to suffer torture on the spike of a Judas cradle? A Geometry Dash icon.
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he just uploaded himself to the 'net...
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
Did yall know this?
Do you have dark humor?
Actually, never mind. I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying... but I decided to abort.
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
A father tells his 10-year-old son...
"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life."
His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186, leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great-grandchildren, and a 7-foot crater where the crematory used to be.
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.
What did Hitler say to Stan after he died?
I did nazi that coming!
DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."
And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...
On the floor.
And died.
The end.
"Sing in music lesson"
"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”
How do you make a plumber die?
You kill his family.
Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺
No one:
Literally no one:
Abraham Lincoln: *dies*
John Wilkes Booth: *ranks up*
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
My mom died.