Die jokes

How did Steven Hawking die?

He lost internet connection.

"Where ya going?"

"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."

Only if Africans knew about condoms, so many mosquitoes wouldn't die of AIDS.

Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.

Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.

Falco: Wat...

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like everyone else in the plane.

What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."

Why did Stephen Hawking die? His ethernet cable fell out.

Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.

You see, my son is very into astronomy.

Son: How do stars die?

Dad: Usually overdose, son.

I'm such an asshole to my son, my wife divorced me.

How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:

To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?

Did you hear he died of a virus? A computer virus.

Why did Bob Ross die?

Because the paint brush stabbed him.

So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.

So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"

I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"

She said, "*sniff* yes."

Why do cows die?

'Cuz they are to beef.

When I die, I want my body to be cremated.

And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!

Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.

The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."

I told my grampa hello, and I said, "Hope you die!" hahahhhhahahahahahhahahahhahaha

Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?

It took all his info!

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his carer lost his charger.