What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."
Die Jokes
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
You see, my son is very into astronomy.
Son: How do stars die?
Dad: Usually overdose, son.
I'm such an asshole to my son, my wife divorced me.
How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:
Why did Stephen Hawking die? His ethernet cable fell out.
To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?
Why did Bob Ross die?
Because the paint brush stabbed him.
Did you hear he died of a virus? A computer virus.
So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.
So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"
I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"
She said, "*sniff* yes."
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.
When I die, I want my body to be cremated.
And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!
I told my grampa hello, and I said, "Hope you die!" hahahhhhahahahahahhahahahhahaha
Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.
The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."
A shop assistant is helping a little boy who can't find his mum in the supermarket.
He asks the boy, "What's she like?"
The boy says, "Big Cocks and vodka!"
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He hit Alt+F4.
I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:
"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."
....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.
RIP Meh Soul.
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
Why did the baby cross the road? Because he wanted to die.
Paul Walker started in 3 movies: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, To Die Hard.
Why did the mailman die?
'Cause everyone dies.
