Die

Die Jokes

Bathroom

What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."

Orphan

Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.

Astronomy

You see, my son is very into astronomy.

Son: How do stars die?

Dad: Usually overdose, son.

I'm such an asshole to my son, my wife divorced me.

Butt

How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:

Wife

To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?

Friend

So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.

So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"

I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"

She said, "*sniff* yes."

Body

When I die, I want my body to be cremated.

And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!

Grampa

I told my grampa hello, and I said, "Hope you die!" hahahhhhahahahahahhahahahhahaha

Car

Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.

The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."

Boy

A shop assistant is helping a little boy who can't find his mum in the supermarket.

He asks the boy, "What's she like?"

The boy says, "Big Cocks and vodka!"

School

I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:

"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."

....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.

RIP Meh Soul.

Movie

Paul Walker started in 3 movies: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, To Die Hard.