Dick jokes
I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.
Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
Why are there so many black men in the NBA that only want to play basketball on a all black basketball team? because they prefer to suck a long and thick big black dick
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
Women have ass and tits... but men have dick and rights.
Why do feminists eat so much pussy?
To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.
Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?
Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?
Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal!
Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!
Sometimes when I'm sad, I remember I have a big dick.
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.
Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!
Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.
Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Isn't there a software company named after your dick?
Microsoft?
Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?
Because they got little dicks and big mouths.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
James: I have a joke. Sex!
Ronny: I don't get it.
James: Exactly.