Dick jokes
Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and you're ready to fire.
I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."
What is italian sausage?
The dick of a gay italian.
Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?
A. They're both really short.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?
Your dick shots longer.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
Why is my dick like a balloon? The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck a big dick.
Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!
Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.
Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.
The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."
The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."
There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.
"Sike, I lied, your dick is dry."
How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth