Dick jokes

Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?

A. They're both really short.

Why did the man cross the road?

Because his dick was stuck in the chicken!

A sister went to her brother's room and says,

"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"

"Yes, sis."

"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)

"My pet snake."

"Can I pet it?"

"Yes."

He wakes up in a hospital.

"What happened?"

"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."

"You dummy!"

"Whaaat?"

Why did Kenny die?

Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?

What do dicks and Rubik's Cubes have in common?

The more you play with them, the harder they get.

How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man that is homophobic into giving him a brojob?

The gay man puts mustard on his dick and then puts his dick inside a glory hole.

Why does the Catholic Church have a glory hole inside the confessional booth?

So a priest can give an anonymous blowjob to another bisexual man, or a gay man, or a heterosexual man that has a big dick after the priest hears their confession.

Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.

Little Red Riding Hood says to the wolf: "What a big dick you have!"

Wolf: "The better to f*** you with!"

I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.

As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."

Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.

Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.

A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.

The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."

The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."

My dick actually destroyed the Death Star.

Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.

"The size doesn’t matter" - Ana from Frozen.

How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.

What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.

A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"

Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.