Why do gay 👬 👨 👨 👨 👨 want to 😫 😫 😫 eat each others meat because 🥩 🥓 🥩 🍖 🍖 is meat and 👨 has to 😋 eat 🍖 🥓 🥩
A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts “Voodoo Dick, the door!” The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Dick, the lamp!” The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsier’s desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. “Voodoo Dick, return to your box!” The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: “The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand.” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!” The man nods and heads home. Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout “Voodoo Dick, my pussy!” The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just can’t get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it won’t come out!” The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Voodoo Dick my ass, bitch.”
What did the female rapist say at her hearing? Well that boys dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say 'my body my choice'
If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him? not now I have a headache
What does a woman and Kentucky fried chicken Have in common? By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Steven Hawkins don’t have a dick he has a microchip
What is a dirty minded harry potter fans favorite spell before the deed? dickus embigus!
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessary long and hard.
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
"My dick fell off in the shower" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your Weiner little one?' He says chuckling lightly.
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend? I beat both of them.
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride she says BOO! What kind of a dick fuck does that!
Why did the female dicktator get fired she had to much dick
Isnt there a software company named after your Dick?
Microsoft?
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
Whats the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth
Life is a or like a penis. Long, free, flowimg, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard.😉
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend
As she saw it, she said "nevermind, just finger me"
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.