How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We're closed."
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
Why do feminists eat so much pussy?
To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.
Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?
Women have ass and tits... but men have dick and rights.
Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?
Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal!
Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!
Sometimes when I'm sad, I remember I have a big dick.
Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?
Because they got little dicks and big mouths.
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Isn't there a software company named after your dick?
Microsoft?
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
James: I have a joke. Sex!
Ronny: I don't get it.
James: Exactly.
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.
I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
Little Johnny was playing with dick when his teacher walked in the room. She asked him what he was doing, he said Im doing my homework. The teacher saw how big his cock was and asked him to have sex with her. He willingly did so. Little johnny was already 25 so it didn't matter. The only thing was that he was homeschooled.
