Why are feminists always against men?
Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up suck a big dick
Ur dick
what do you call a dick playing badminton? a shuttlecock.
Why did Obama marry Michelle?
Because he's into chicks with dicks.
A man walks into a bar with an alligator. he says to the bartender "I have a deal, if i can hold my dick in the alligators mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink" and so the bartender agreed. the man, like he said, had his dick in the alligators mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. he made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. he did it and drank his drinks. then he said to the amazed crowd, "would anyone like to volunteer?" one man raised his hand. he walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "just a warning, i don't think i can hold my mouth open that long."
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it
Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?
He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?
When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.
As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
..their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!
When his dick is really really small but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad cause he is a nice guy.
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex...
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times
"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."
"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."
I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just viben, he was telling ever guy that walked by if his dick was bigger then theirs they have to give him 50 bucks long story short I walked away with 100 bucks that day
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick? Put ranch dressing on it
Why are there so many black men in the NBA that only want to play basketball on a all black basketball team? because they prefer to suck a long and thick big black dick
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
what did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say
beat it. we're closed
