Dick jokes
I'm hard right now.
'Cause you're a DICKstraction. ;)
What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?
Your dick shots longer.
Deaf people suck lots of dicks.
They can't hear!
What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.
They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?
The British are cumming! The British are cumming!
My dick.
I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.
Femboys are looking kinda tasty for a date, especially the dick and their balls.
What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?
A misfit.
A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
My dick is longer than your life.
So my son came up to me and said, "Hey, Dad, I’m hungry." So I replied "Hi, Hungry, I’m Dad."
And then I feed him my dick.
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"
I am gay, is that ok?
I be on top sucking dick all day. I make him bust every day.
A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.
Dick sucking.