Dick jokes

What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?

I C D K

I can make a word with those: "DICK".

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?

The British are cumming! The British are cumming!

My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"

So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.

I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.

My dick.

A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."

A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.

So my son came up to me and said, "Hey, Dad, I’m hungry." So I replied "Hi, Hungry, I’m Dad."

And then I feed him my dick.

My dick is longer than your life.

How to give a good hand job?

Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.

None of you ever touch my penis.

Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"

I am gay, is that ok?

I be on top sucking dick all day. I make him bust every day.

A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.

Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?

Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.

Who discovered shrimp were edible?

Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.

Dick sucking.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?

A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.

Why did the man cross the road?

Because his dick was stuck in the chicken!

Everybody loves "appreciation." So that's what I named my dick.