Dick jokes
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
What are the four letters you donโt want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.
They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.
What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?
The British are cumming! The British are cumming!
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
Memes
My dick.
I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.
A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?
A misfit.
My dick is longer than your life.
So my son came up to me and said, "Hey, Dad, Iโm hungry." So I replied "Hi, Hungry, Iโm Dad."
And then I feed him my dick.
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"
I am gay, is that ok?
I be on top sucking dick all day. I make him bust every day.
Dick sucking.
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
Who discovered shrimp were edible?
Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.
A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.
Whatโs the difference between a prostitute and cancer?
A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute canโt beat cancer.