Dick

Dick jokes

Dentist

What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?

I C D K

I can make a word with those: "DICK".

Cockroach

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

British

What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?

The British are cumming! The British are cumming!

Girlfriend

My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"

So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.

Chef

A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."

Son

So my son came up to me and said, "Hey, Dad, I’m hungry." So I replied "Hi, Hungry, I’m Dad."

And then I feed him my dick.

Hand Job

How to give a good hand job?

Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.

None of you ever touch my penis.

Light Bulb

Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"

Gay

I am gay, is that ok?

I be on top sucking dick all day. I make him bust every day.

Neighbor

Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?

Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.

Blowjob

Who discovered shrimp were edible?

Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.

Cancer

What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?

A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.

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