Dick jokes
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.
Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.
You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?
He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Kids are only virgins because their dicks are small.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
Trust.
Cannibals sucking each other's dick.
What group of high school students touch the most dicks?
The jocks.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck a big dick.
What do you call a fish that has a dick?
Moby Dickkkkk!
What does BLM stand for?
Black Lust Matters.
Dick cheese, booty hole, yellow cum shot, anal shit, dick hole, ass brownies.
What do gay men like to suck each other's bananas because they like the ice cream filling?
Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?
Because they don't like Dick's!
Your penis is literally BLUE!
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
Why did the feminist cross the road?
To suck my dick!