Dick jokes
You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.
Dick cheese, booty hole, yellow cum shot, anal shit, dick hole, ass brownies.
A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.
He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.
Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉
1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!
Dad: Oh, OK!
2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.
Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?
Son: I do...
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
You're an apple. Now suck my dick!
There was a man in a tower, and the other man thought it was a girl, so he said, "Let down your long hair." He said, "OK, I will let my big, super long, hairy penis down for you to climb and suck." Then the other man said, "If you have such a long dick, suck it yourself. See ya, b*tch."
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.
Little Johnny stooped down to lick my balls and deep dick my throbbing knob.
"The size doesn’t matter" - Ana from Frozen.
Life is like a penis. It is short.
Enyaw’s fanny smells of dirty, moist, fishy, rotten egg, dead Elizabeth, pig dick, cow cum filth.
Dirty bitch!
Why do squirrels love dick?
Because it produces nut.
It turns into ligma.
Brother: What's ligma?
Big Brother: Ligma dick!
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
Today a girl asked me how big my dick is, so I asked how big her pussy is, and she said, "Come over to my house and find out!"
I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"
"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.
The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"
Alternative punchline:
"I had to call social services, she was only 14."
There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.