Dick jokes
What do dicks and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.
Johnny, Johnny. Yes, Papa? Eating dick? Yes, Papa.
Why did the female dicktator get fired? She had too much dick!
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!
My best friend said, "Can you put your dick in me?" I said, "Can I cum in you?"
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken!
Seriously, who wants dicks?
What does a man and a gay prostitute have in common with a physically handicapped bisexual man? All three of them are very good at sucking your dick.
You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.
Jefferey Dahmer asked his husband a question.
His husband said, "What's your question?"
Jefferey Dahmer said, "You want to know what is my favorite type of tree?"
His husband said "Yes?"
Jefferey said, "Morning Wood, now take off your pants!"
What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?
My dick.
You know Mark once said, "Go away, Freddy, or I'll suck your dick!"
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
My horrible life.
What do you call a dick with three eyes?
Preston.
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
It's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard.