Dick jokes

I suck Cyrus's dick when he is sleeping.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.

I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.

I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.

I like my women like I like my coffee.

Without other people's dicks in it.

My class is my house is quite. I suck a dick, now one cares.

Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and you're ready to fire.

After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.

During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."

Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"

There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.

*funny joke about dicks*

Today a girl asked me how big my dick is, so I asked how big her pussy is, and she said, "Come over to my house and find out!"

What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?

The Twin Towers.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

My I.

May I who?

May I put this pussy on your mouth?

Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.

Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.

What do gay men like to suck each other's bananas because they like the ice cream filling?

What's your mom and a dog got in common?

Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.

Suck tiny dick, now you have STD's.

Why are people that have bipolar disorder never on suicide watch?

Because they are always sucking dick.

Yo mama is such a creep; she thought PTSD stood for "Please Touch Small Dicks."

1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!

Dad: Oh, OK!

2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.

Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?

Son: I do...